Here's another reason why I like living in the future. Not only do I never have to go into a bank, but Bank of America now provides me a person to chat with whenever I need help, thus keeping me from ever having to see the Sun. These brave souls will attempt to answer any banking question you can come up with. The following is a transcript from a recent chat I had with the bank under the name Gertrude Gunther:
Please wait for an agent to respond.
You: Help me please
Robert: Absolutely. How may I assist you?
You: Gertrude Gunther
You: I want to take out a loan can you put some in my account?
You: Robert are you there?
Robert: Yes I am and I apologize for the delay.
You: Bobby, how can I get some fast cash?
Robert: Unfortunately you will need to speak with Online Banking. WebChat cannot release personal information about accounts. For the fastest cash, I would advise stopping at an ATM. If you would like to Transfer Funds from another Bank of America Account of yours to the account that needs funds, Online Banking can assist you with that.
You: This nice young man from over seas emailed me. He says if I send him $11,400 to get him over here he can sign for his estate papers and then he will give me $48,000 plus my original money back.
You: I'm going to go to an ATM and take out my 6,200 dollars that way at least he will give me some money. That's a good idea. Is there a way I can take all of my money out of the ATM instead of just 500 dollars at a time? He needs the money soon.
Robert: The best thing to do is go into the Bank and make a withdrawl, that way if you need a loan you can speak with them as well. There is a limit on ATM withdrawl's daily, so entering the bank would be the most beneficial.
You: Thank you Robert you have been such a help. You know you're the first cyborg I've ever met. My friends say that cyborgs are evil, but I can tell that you are nice. When were you created?
You: Robert?
Robert: Well I am actually a real person and I am in Phoenix, AZ.
Robert: We just wanted to make you aware that this situation does seem Untrue. When dealing with your funds, we advise printing the e-mail about the young man, and taking it to your local branch before making any withdrawls from your account.
You: Wow!!! Don't I feel silly!!! I didn't mean to call you a cyborg. But how do you know you're a real person. All cyborgs think they are real.
You: Sorry I will leave you alone about that.
You: This young man's lawyer also sent me an email. I don't see how a crook would take the time to have a lawyer. What kind of lawyer would risk his career for 11,400 dollars
Robert: Thank you for waiting. I'll be with you in just a moment.
Robert: As we advised, please print the e-mail out about the situation and take it into your local branch for authentication. Spammers today will go to great lengths to make people fall under false truths and take your money. Your Branch Manager will be able to consult you directly with this.
You: Okay thank you Robert!!!
You: God Bless.
Robert: Not a problem. It is our pleasure to assist you.
Robert: Is there any other questions or concerns I may assist you with today?
You: I could talk about my problems for hours Bobby, but I'll let you get back to work sweetie! :)
Robert: Please do not hesitate to contact us again if you have any additional questions. We look forward to assisting you again in the future.
Robert: Please remember to speak with the Branch Manager at your local bank.
You: okay what's his name?
Robert: Have a great evening.
Robert: When you walk into your local branch, just ask for the Branch Manager, and they will direct you to their office.
You: oh okay. Does that cost me a fee?
Robert: No there are no costs for meeting with a Branch Manager. They will be more than happy to assist you with this situation.
You: Okay, Thank you Robert I will tell him that Robert from PHX helped me. Goodbye darling.
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